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Back in black

I have been continuing to pleasure myself with the internet. Specifically, I’ve been working my way through the three series of Black Books, the Channel 4 comedy starring Dylan Moran, Bill Bailey and Tamsin Grieg.

In the second episode, Manny (Bill Bailey) turns up at the book shop having been offered a job by Bernard (Dylan Moran) the previous night. Bernard is asleep on the sofa and Manny tentatively wakes him up. Bernard is pissed off at being disturbed:

Bernard: Wait a second. What time is it?

Manny: Half ten.

Bernard: Half ten? Half ten? I’ve never been up at half ten! What happens?

In another episode, in the second series, I think, Manny is given a cappuccino maker and a complete set of The Sweeney for his birthday. He spends the first part of the programme tanked up on caffeine and acting like a hard-bitten, seventies cop. Later, he finds himself in a police station, where an inspector takes him for a real police officer and persuades him to assist him interviewing a suspect. The inspector tells him that he’ll be the nasty cop and Manny will be the nice cop. Once inside the interview roo he stresses it again, Remember, I’m nasty, you’re nice. They sit down in front of this thuggish character and the inspector start laying into him: You’d better start giving me something solid, or I’ll feed you to the sharks. Then he nudges Manny and gives him a look that says, OK, your turn. Manny slowly leans towards the suspect and hesitantly says,

You – have … beautiful eyes.

The inspector and the suspect both give him funny looks, then the inspector continues badgering the thug. At another juncture, Manny says cheerfully, When this is all over, let’s all go and see Les Miserables.

If my passages weren’t all bunged up with snot I would have been practically howling with laughter.

Last night I watched an episode of Star Trek – ‘Amok Time’. Wonderful stuff; unintentionally funny in places, but it gave me that warm feeling of returning to something much cherished and long missed. It concludes with one of the all-time great moments from TV (in my humble opinion). Spock believes he has killed Kirk during a marriage ritual on Vulcan. Back on the Enterprise, he’s explaining to McCoy his intention to hand himself over to the authorities when Kirk comes up behind him. Spock grabs Kirk and exclaims, Jim! through a big smile. Then he remembers McCoy and Nurse Chapel are watching and his Vulcan reserves reasserts itself. He continues, I am pleased to see you, Captain.

According to Wikipedia,

The magazine TV Guide summarised this episode with the double-entendre “Mr. Spock succumbs to a powerful mating urge and nearly kills Captain Kirk”.

Categories: Humour, Quotations
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