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Nearly but not

I went out with Sue a couple of times at the weekend. I’ve taken to thinking of her as my nearly-girlfriend, as there’s been absolutely no physical dimension to our relationship. Up until Saturday, anyway. We had dinner and then went for a walk. Sue showed me the big waterfall I’d seen from the top of a hill a few weeks ago – it’s a lot closer than I thought, and in a different location (which explains why I’ve never been able to find it on my walks).

As we walked back, she fell back a little and held out her hands, saying, ‘Drag me, drag me.’ So I did, and that was the first time we’d held hands. (She’s small, and it kind of felt like holding hands with a child.) I ‘dragged’ her back to my apartment for a cup of tea. She watched TV, mostly, but I got her to write down some Korean for me.

I walked her back to her apartment (that she shares with her sister, brother-in-law and their two kids) and tried to kiss her. She pulled away. Then she let me kiss her on the forehead (she leant forward too much and gently head-butted me in the mouth) and then said something about me shaving (I’ve grown a goatee).

I walked the 50 metres or so back to mine feeling somewhat confused, embarrassed and dejected. When I got back, I tried, fairly successfully, to dispel these feeling with Futurama – including an episode called ‘Where No Fan Has Been Before’, with guest appearances by William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, George Takei, Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols and a brilliant one-line part by Jonathan Frakes. (And if you don’t know who each of those is, I have no respect for you at all.)

Yesterday, on my way back from roleplaying, I texted her to apologise for making her feel uncomfortable and to ask how her day had been. I’ve had no reply.

So now I’m at home on Monday with no internet access because someone or other is digging up the pavements nearby hoping that things haven’t changed for the worse between us.

And now – I’m at home on Tuesday lunchtime, hopefully with enough time to post this successfully. I’ve seen Sue at work today and yesterday and said hello, exchanged a brief remark or two, nothing more. Which is pretty typical of our previous behaviour at work. I haven’t tried too hard to talk to her, to be honest, but we’ll see what happens during the week.

Categories: Life
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