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Posts Tagged ‘radio’

Can we make love now?

Keith Chegwin has been in the news recently for apparently stealing other comedians’ jokes and posting them on his Twitter account. Barry Crier was interviewed about it on the radio (he didn’t approve) and at the end was asked for a joke. His contribution was:

A woman said to her husband, ‘Can we make love now?’

The man said, ‘Why now?’

She said, ‘The egg-timer’s broken.’

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Clocks should be like women: they should stand in a corner, silently, and once a year receive a good servicing.

The elder Pip Bin in the wonderful Radio 4 comedy Bleak Expectations, ‘Chapter the Third: A Recovery All Made Miserable’.

Let me give you a clue

Listened to Monday’s edition of I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue yesterday, along with one from 1984. I was surprised at how much funnier it is these days. There were several laughs to be had in the older programme, but it was very low key, had a much smaller audience and seemed much more like what it purports to be – four old comedians making funny remarks. Today’s ISIHAC is much more professional – you can tell a lot, if not, all of it is scripted – the result being half an hour of brilliantly funny radio. The audience is much bigger these days, too. The applause at the beginning and the roar of approval and recognition that goes up when a favourite round is introduced or a running gag set up is one of my favourite aspects of the show.

Anyway, here for your delectation is a transcript of one round from this week’s edition (notable for a reference to one of my other favourite things in the world ever – Newsnight Review):

Jack Dee: OK, we kick off today with a round called Uxbridge English Dictionary. As English developed from various older languages, it has many different terms which appear to be interchangeable, but this isn’t always true. For example, there are people who don’t know the difference between the words oilskin and tarpaulin. Well, oilskin refers to a type of strong, flexible, water-resistant material, often canvas, protected by a skin of oil, usually linseed oil. Whereas tarpaulin is that miserable Irish bloke on Newsnight Review.

However, meanings are constantly changing, teams, so let’s hear any new definitions you may have spotted recently. Tim, you can start.

Tim Brooke-Taylor: Flabbergasted: appalled at how much weight you’ve put on.

Jack: Graeme.

Graeme Garden: Ambulate: a hearse.

Jack: Barry.

Barry Cryer: Monkey: bit like a monk.

Jack: And Sandi.

Sandi Toksvig: Camper van: van with more sequins than the last one.

Tim: Wince: a setting on Jonathan Ross’s washing machine.

Barry: Monogamy: celebrating New Year in Scotland by yourself.

Graeme: [in pirate voice] Radar: an attack by pirates.

Sandi: Algorithm: former Vice President on drums.

Graeme: [in pirate voice] Doodah: a cool pirate.

Sandi: Dependent: Italian indication of a hole made with a biro.

Graeme: [in pirate voice] Bazaar: Barry the pirate.